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  • Sandra Cesca

Four Months Waiting is not a Long Time

My dad Charles, known affectionately as Charlie, was away during the war when I was born. We did not meet until I was two years old. Imagine, my mom pregnant with me for nine months, then waiting two more years for her husband to return. And worrying, every day, if he would return.

During this time of Corvid 19, it has become difficult and frustrating and maddening to wait. We miss going outside, we miss our friends and families, we miss going for a coffee. We have the fastest of communications to instantly connect us almost anywhere in the world and yet we are so impatient. We do not play the waiting game well.

Imagine, if you will, waiting months for a pencil scribbled letter from your sweetheart. One perhaps written in the trenches, in the mud and rain, or in a Red Cross tent with only a lantern for light. Waiting for delivery from across the miles, from across the ocean, to a Midwest town where your pregnant wife waits daily for words of love and encouragement from you.

Imagine, this is your first pregnancy. No other children around to keep you occupied. No Dr. Spock books of wisdom. No child birthing classes to help you stay connected with other women to this uniquely female experience. No internet to research the answers to all your questions. Yes, the women in the family are still around. They are your only support, along with stories of their pregnancies.

I was born in a male-dominated hospital typical of those days. Few female obstetricians, no midwives, no birthing rooms with Laura Ashley wallpaper, no natural, drug-free birth. Just the typical epidural with forceps delivery.

Then two more years of learning to be a mother without your partner to share these amazing new experiences. Patience is said to be a virtue. My mom surely worked on hers. She was one of thousands of war wives...waiting.

We should be glad it’s only been four months for us during this quarantine. Maybe it will be longer. Will it be two years? I doubt any of us has the patience to last that long. But we will. Be glad for the internet, remote work, zoom classes, and facetime visits. Be grateful for all the healthcare workers fighting for our lives on the front lines. They are also in the trenches. Be appreciative of all the essential workers who cannot wait as they work, keeping the world going while the rest of us wait. The lesson of patience is difficult and deep. Hopefully, we will learn from this as it could mean a more meaningful life for each of us after this crisis is over.

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